【外国人に聞いた】付き合う前にやる?

【外国人に聞いた】付き合う前にやる?

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1組目 オーストラリア出身のカップルに聞いてみた

Alright, thank you very much for your help. Where are you guys from?

I grew up here in Manly now. It’s like being around here.

So you’re from heaven.

Yeah mate.

Yeah and are you Australian, too.

Yeah, yeah.

Is that okay to ask your age? How old are you guys?

I’m 24.

Both 24.

Are you guys a couple?

Yes, we are.

Ah sweet. Okay, I want to ask you how long you guys have been together?

We’ve been together for about 10 months now.

Yeah 10 months. Okay.

10 months on.. when is it? Next week?

Yes.

In this video today I’m asking people about, you know, how you met, how your relationship started. How did it start?

Well, basically when Covid hit, like, we couldn’t go out at all and the first party I went to after that was her housewarming party. Because she just moved to Manly.

So I was like I was a plus one to that event and obviously caught the eye of the host.

Wow. So you talked to her.

Yeah, of course.

And then, what happened? Like, did you guys exchange numbers or Facebook or Instagram?

Facebook.

Yeah, Facebook. I played rugby that day.

And I got injured. So, she helped, like, take care of me.

Oh that’s so sweet.

I have a big swollen knee.

Yeah, that’s like that’s like a TV series, you know, it’s like a sweet. What do you call it? Like,

young teenagers fall in love like that.

Oh, yeah sure.

That’s sweet guys. So you texted her like a couple of times and then you went on a date?

Yeah.

What did you do for the first date?

We went to a Mexican.

A Mexican restaurant?

Had a bit of Tacos and stuff?

Yeah. Shared some potatoes

We are both really messy eaters, so wiping each other’s faces and all that.

So, I’m a Japanese guy who came from Japan. Now, It’s a bit tricky situation but

Usually people come here from Japan with a working holiday Visa and student Visa or whatever because we are Japanese people, you know. Sometimes, we wanna have a foreign boyfriend/girlfriend. What do you think? What is the key to getting a partner in this country? Especially when Japanese come here.

Tinder.

Tinder? Do you think so?

I don’t know.

Yeah, probably it’s the easiest way, yeah?

Probably get involved in sports.

The cases say you surf.

What is it?

The cases say you surf.

Surf.

Yeah, everyone’s like “Woo, that’s exotic”

True. Walking around Manly or Bondi Beach with the surfboard.

I think it’s just to get involved in a team sport and, like, I don’t know.

So in Japan in Tokyo sometimes, you know, when you go to drink with your mates and you see girls on the street, we talk like, “Hey girls, where are you going” like.

“Are you gonna go to another bar or something?” “Let’s go together.” or something like this.

We call it Nampa. Does this happen in Australia, too? Do you think?

Yeah I think it happens a little bit.

It does, but a lot of girls would find that a bit creepy.

Ah really.

Girls don’t like to be approached in the street.

Alright. You gotta be super good looking hey.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That’s what it is. It’s not creepy if you’re good looking.

Alright, last question.

I would say many people wanted to know, especially in Japan. I think relatively to foreign people, like Australian people, who are very open-minded about many things.

Yeah.

People say, people should do “it” before the relationship or after the commitment.

Yeah.

What do you think from a boy’s perspective?

I think it shouldn’t be straightway.

Shouldn’t be straight away, yep?

Because, you gotta get to know him a little bit first.

True.

But I think it should happen around the same time.

What do you mean around the same time?

When the commitment is in.

That’s when it’s all good, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I’m a big believer in commitment time, maybe like a week or like, when you know it’s gonna go somewhere.

What about you? What do you think?

Oh my god. This is a difficult question. I’ll definitely do it before I start dating because I think this is a really important thing, you know, when you start dating someone. Especially, if you think about the long-term relationship. So if it really doesn’t work if you don’t really feel comfortable with this in your relationship. I think it gets a bit frustrating later on.

So it takes awhile to get into the groove of things.

That’s very true, too.

so I think it depends on the person but, yeah, but around that time, yeah.

Alright, very good to know.

Thank you very much guys. Thank you for your help.

2組目 コロンビア出身の男女に聞いてみた

Where are you guys from?

Colombia.

How old are you guys?

I’m 23.

Yeah 31.

So I want to ask you, are you guys a couple?

No, eww.

Friend?

Cousins.

Cousin? Sorry! That’s an awkward question. Today I was asking people about, you know, their relationship. But I’m pretty sure. Okay, I understand you guys are cousins. But I’m pretty sure you guys in your life had a, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend before. So let’s talk about this, I’ll give you a bit of questions. Do you have a boyfriend now?

Yes.

Okay. Do you have a girlfriend now?

No, okay. You used to have a girlfriend?

Okay, let’s talk about your relationship.

Alright.

Is he Colombian?

No. He’s french.

He’s French?

Yes.

Okay. How did you meet him? How did the relationship start?

Oh god. It was a random situation on the Beach. We were just like friends, we just started to speak and now.

Oh. So you were like in a group of friends and they went to Beach together and then “Oh, hi nice to meet you” and something like that and started talking together.

Did he ask you for your Instagram or your number or Facebook?

My Instagram.

Alright. And then, did he ask you to go on a date?

Yes. The same day actually.

Oh really?

Where did you go?

In Bondi close to Paddington actually.

Okay. In a bar or restaurant?

It was a restaurant.

Oh nice. What did you eat? Japanese?

No, unfortunately, no.

Oh you don’t remember?

That’s not really good.

How about you? When did you last have a girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend?

A year ago.

Was she Colombian?

She was Swedish.

She was Swedish? Oh my god ,you guys like Europeans, hey?

Kind of.

Let’s talk about Colombia. Because I haven’t talked to Colombian people before, in Colombia nowadays. How do people usually start meeting? Starting a relationship? What’s the trigger?

I think one of the biggest triggers is dating apps

Dating apps in Colombia, too?

Like Tinder, I haven’t been in Colombia for like 10 years but all my friends tell me about that.

Oh really?

They use Instagram a lot. They use each other to like following on Instagram and really “Hey, you know” “I like your content” or “I like you” like “We’re around you” or “We are friends of friends”.

Even in Colombia? So I talked to some Australian people on Bondi Beach the other day. I did this in another video. People say “I use Tinder”, you know, “And also Instagram”. Exactly like you said. But in Japan, I think it’s not really a big popular thing to do, but it’s very normal

not only in Colombia. But also in the South American people. Is that right? Correct?

Yeah, actually yes.

Oh interesting, this is a little bit tricky question for you guys to answer, I guess. Okay, for Japanese some people say it should be done before the commitment of a relationship or after? What do you think? From a South American people’s perspective?

I think that having s** on the first date it’s kind of like “Hmm” you know.

It’s not really serious hey?

Exactly, you know, that’s the third or four date.

You think it’s the time? Third or fourth date?

Oh. What do you think, cousin?

I think it’s better after the commitment.

After the commitment, yeah?

What do you think about Colombia? Which one do you think is the majority?

I think that hers is.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay. So you think most of the ladies think in that way.

I think, yes.

Sorry, I’m not being rude but is it because of the religion as well? Like, you guys are Catholics?

Catholics.

There are many Catholics in Colombia?

Do you think it’s because of that too?

I think some background like religious background is important but maybe it’s because the girls maybe want something a little bit more serious.

Yeah,

So when it happens before maybe you feel like, “uh this guy just..”

I see, I see. Last question, so I’m a Japanese man who came to Australia, not only me, well I have a girlfriend, but many Japanese guys, Japanese girls you know, who comes to Australia with a working holiday Visa, student Visa, they want to have an opportunity if they can like to go to a date with foreign girls or boys.From a South American perspective, what’s a good way to meet someone in this country or in your country?

I guess in this country, it’s a little bit more open. A lot of people come here and especially when they’re internationals, they don’t need to follow any sort of rules. People from Asia, people from South America, they stop acting the way that culture allows them to

So here, for example, I’ve been dating girls that I had sex with in the second date and I’ve been dating her for like, five years so things like that but also in Australia people just get relaxed a little bit and then they, they act the way they really want to do.

Some people are more comfortable with feeling a little bit more reserved.

Some people don’t find it like me. I don’t find you know, if a girl kiss me or if she invites me out or she asks me out, I don’t, don’t see anything inappropriate around that.

Yeah, yeah.

So I think that here, it’s a little bit more ,more of that stuff.

What do you do when you really want a boyfriend? Let’s say, if you don’t have a boyfriend, what would you do in this country or in your country?

Oh my god, I think I will, I will just invite someone to go out like, I try to be really like myself and show him what I want.

How do you find that person though?

I think social media.

Social media, like Instagram?

Yes, yes.

So for girls, it’s popular, too?

Yeah sometimes you know, when you’re in the pubs with friends and maybe you like someone, you’re just gonna try to speak with him and gonna try to-

Even from you, you don’t mind?

Yeah, I don’t mind.

Because some girls get shy, yeah?

Yeah

They wait until, until the guy approaches them,

Until the guy invites her out or ask them for the ,”hey, can you give me your phone or your

Maybe if you were the guy and if you ask them, maybe they, she want to go out with you but if you don’t ask them, they, they won’t.

Some people do um, but that’s what I say here like for example the Swedish um, girlfriend that I have ex-girlfriend

She got my number and she asked me out

Some girls are enthusiastic, passionate, so nowadays, not only boys go but the girls do the first step, too.Very good to know.

Thank you very much, guys.

Muchas gracias.

3組目 ブラジルとスウェーデン出身の男女に聞いてみた

Okie dokie, thank you for your help. Where are you guys from?

So I’m from Brazil.

And I’m from Sweden.

Sweden, okay. I’ve actually talked to Brazilian people in some videos before but this is the first time I talked to actual Swedish people, nice to meet you guys. How old are you guys?

I’m 30.

30 years old

I’m 30 years old

Oh, you guys um, are you guys a couple?

Just friends.

I’m just a friend.

Okay, today in this video I was asking people about, you know, relationships in your country. How relationship starts or like, in your experience how relationships started? I’m pretty sure you guys have boyfriend or girlfriend or you used to have a boyfriend or girlfriend in your life.

Do you have a girlfriend now?

Not at the moment.

Not at the moment?

No, happily single.

Single, yeah? You’re happily single, okay. So let me ask you uh, in your country, Brazil

Nowadays, how do people start seeing a new person like in Australia ask the few people and they say, “oh probably like Tinder, or go to bars and stuff,” What do you think in your country?

Well, I moved here 14 years ago.

14 years ago. It’s been a while.

You know about Australia, yeah?

But back then, it would be mostly through school.

School?

Socializing in a party or something like that.

Okay so how about in Sweden?

I think in Sweden, it’s very much like, you meet people through friends so it will start quite naturally but Tinder and like, dating culture is like I guess growing a lot like, doing it digitally. It’s getting bigger and bigger?

So this is my like, I don’t know if it’s a stereotype or what, but I’ve heard Scandinavian people are a little bit closed. Sometimes like, strangers are very strangers, not like Australia. Is it true?

Oh yeah. 100 percent. They’re very reserved.

Very reserved.

Yeah, so that’s why maybe Tinders and things like that are not that as big as like Australia’s and stuff. I think it should be bigger because that means you have this kind of distance from other people so it’s easier to connect.

Whereas you wouldn’t talk to someone on the street, that’s usually why it’s like through friends.

Many people think that Japanese people are a little bit shy or like reserved.

But to be honest it is true but at the same time when we talk about seeing a new person sometimes you know, you go out drinking with your mates and then see girls and I say, “oh where you guys going?”, like, let’s go drink together.

Brazil would be like that.

Oh, really?

We’re pretty open, so if you see someone you’re quite interested or attracted to,

That’d not happen in Sweden.

That’s not like that?

Yeah, I think if you walk up to someone and chat and they’re like, “oh why are you talking to me?” for like, “go away”.

Good to know, yeah?

But the only time that changes is summer time in parks.

Or festivals. It’s really, it’s different.

Yeah

That is like, free-for-all.

Okay

Yeah, so, you used to have a girlfriend?

Yeah, in Australia.

How did you meet the person?

I actually met her through a friend at the gym. So she used to go to the same gym as I did.

And you talked to her like, “oh could you help my bench press”, or?

No, no, no.

No, we actually did a class together and then I thought she was attractive and just like-

A friend of a friend knew her so we started chatting,

That’s how it went.

Did you, did you ask her like, Instagram or something?

Um, back then I think it was like, Facebook.

Facebook?

Facebook. Nowadays there’s more Instagram so you can check their lives and see if they have a life.

Some people are not really confident about making decision about the first date. Do you remember like, what do you usually do on a first date?

Um, I’d normally go for a walk.

Walk

Not in a bar, or something?

I don’t do drinks as the first date.

Really?

Yeah, I avoid that.

Yeah so walk is better, it’s more chill, you can grab like an ice cream.

What’s happening here?

It’s just a more relaxed environment.

If you’re sitting in front of each other there’s a little bit of pressure, then alcohol is what takes the pressure away.

Just being polite, yeah?

Yeah

What do you think?

Yeah, I think I prefer doing something that’s more like casual like, you do, you do an activity, you’re doing something, because then everything, your conversation will flow better like, you get to know someone for who they really are, because if you’re doing like a date where it’s like a more a formal setting, it becomes a bit forced.

So how did you meet your last partner?

We met by travelling when we were in Western Australia. We met in the same place we were staying in.

But then the one before that, we met on Instagram.

Oh, Instagram. Like, did the person texted you through Instagram like, “oh you look hot”?

I’d been following him for a while because he was like, a public person.

And then I posted a comment on his, on his post on like, his uh, post once and then he talked to me on Facebook. This is a while ago like, it was 2013. And then we were together for five years. So, it does work.

Wow, he’s a very lucky guy, yeah? Getting a message from this beautiful girl.

We are not together anymore, you know.

Alright, I’m a Japanese person who came from Japan. You know, sometimes when Japanese people come to Australia with a working holiday Visa or student Visa or whatever, sometimes we feel like we want to get a foreign girlfriend, foreign boyfriend. If you’re really needing a partner, to find a partner, what would you do? What is the best thing, what is the quickest thing to look for for someone?

To meet someone?

That’s hard.

I’d say at a bar.

You go to a bar?

With friends or chick friends or something like that.

And then just talk?

Yeah, just go up to them and be nice, and just say, “hey, how’s your night going”?

Yeah I think I agree like, just being out there, to put yourself out there,

And not like, be afraid of rejection.

And don’t be drunk.

Yeah because if you approach a girl when she’s drunk they just don’t want to waste their time.

So do you think it’s better than like, using dating apps?

Yeah, I think so.

If you meet someone on the street you’ll be like, “oh he looks nice”, or he moves in a specific way like an instant attraction, but if you look at a photo of someone, you don’t get those non-verbal cues.

You don’t get the full aspect of their personality,

Very true.

So a lot of times, you can get on texting someone, messaging someone, but then when it comes to if you meet up, it’s just that the connection is not there.

Very true.

So it’s way better meeting someone in real life and then, starting like, a more natural kind of progression of that relationship.

I understand.

But I guess the dating apps works well more for like, Covid times.

Yeah some people said that. Yeah, true. So this is the main question, it’s a bit bit tricky to ask for you guys, I reckon. But um, I think relatively Japanese people are a little bit more shy than the, you know, than many like, let’s say Western people. Western people are very open-minded, especially in Australia.

What do you think? What do you think about this question: Some people say it should be done before the commitment of a relationship or after?

Well, you sleep with someone?

Yes. What do you think about this? Should it be done before a relationship or after?

Before

Because you need to know this is a sexual connection.

Otherwise?

Otherwise if you don’t if you enter a relationship and you haven’t been intimate then you don’t know how you, how you combine with each other so obviously if you end up in a

relationship and the sex is terrible then you’re with someone who you’re not enjoying,you’re gonna-

Does it mean you’re gonna be in deep shit?

Yeah, you’re not gonna be happy.

Yeah true. You know, it’s better to test it before.

Do you agree?

Yeah, like personality-wise but also when it comes to the sexual aspect. I think it has to be fun and enjoyable, coz something that you don’t have that connection is just like, you’re just together as friends.

Okay, thank you very much, guys.

Um, how did you guys meet?

Rock climbing?

Bouldering, but it’s similar.

Yeah, and maybe they are climbing at the walls to get over something.

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